Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit
a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you
can't have your kayak and heat it too.
--------------------
Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a salted
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for
shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Answer phone message
"....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
----------------------------------------------------------
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this ***** before
-----------------------------------------------------
Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!
-----------------------------------------------------
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there
are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's
either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
-----------------------------------------------------
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a
strong currant.
--------------------
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied,"I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
--------------------
I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a muscle.
--------------------
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
-------------------------------
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"
----------------------------------
Two fish are in a tank
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"
a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you
can't have your kayak and heat it too.
--------------------
Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a salted
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for
shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Answer phone message
"....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
----------------------------------------------------------
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this ***** before
-----------------------------------------------------
Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!
-----------------------------------------------------
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there
are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's
either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
-----------------------------------------------------
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a
strong currant.
--------------------
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied,"I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
--------------------
I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a muscle.
--------------------
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
-------------------------------
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"
----------------------------------
Two fish are in a tank
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"
